sIngApORe ProDucTIoN LeR WorX

hI!!!!! i'm SooOoO ExCiTeD nOW WorX.. sorrY *BOw BoW* i nebEr BlOG fOR a lOng TIme aLR Wor... bUT tOdaY MusT LeR Wor... sInCe I SeE NewS Oh mY GaWd!!! nYp goT giRL aH, hEr Hp gOT sTeAlIng And gOt LocAl proDUctiOn InsiDE dE!!!

sEe!!! i LeArn neW WorDs ler. loCal prODucTiOn.. CHeEm CheEm dE. Anw ThIS fiLM bEry beRY BoRiNG lEr I HEard, BUT i neBEr wATCH. soMEMore gAHmEN sAY If yoU SeND the vIDdeO aNyHow, thEY aLSO SenD TheIR maRtAR anYHoW cATCH YoU WoRx. I thiNKIng gAHmen ReALlY mEanIng BiZ NOw LEr. I tHInk gahMen Do LiKE THatS iS NOT riGHt. COz thEy REaLlY MaKE me coNFUsiNG. FirSt tHEY sAYiNG wANtiNG thE ArtS sCenE to oPeN ANd BLoOm lIKE FlOwer. TheN Now GOt Local dIREcTor aND dIRECtREsS coME Out aNd make mOvie, evERYBIRdy WantInG to watCH BuT GahMerN Say nOoOoOOoOoOo, u NO WatCHinG toOpID mOVie. BaD foR your EyES lAter YOu go bLiND nOoOoOOoOoOoo, l8R You u SeEE aLeDy beCOme CHeE kOR pEK!!! aND yOUr BaNana BEcOME hArd lIKE a TOR anD You TOr alL The girlS in THe streeeTS!!! i Say noOoOOoOoOoOoOooO!!!!

i FiNDIng Out HOR, THat mY BlOGgZ Also gOT oTheR pEOplES reAdING leR, lIke My FrieND ah MaD, eXxxxCusE me ITs AH MAd, he NOt siAO DIng dOng Ok. tHATs hIS namE SO rEesSPect it TOOpID PeEps GOng TOOOt TOOOt. SO I MUSt eXplAiNIng MARtaR meAniNG. mArtAr acTUlalAY MEaNIng tHE pOlICE lOR. I aLSO duNno WHy CalLiNG maRtAR, SoUnd LiKE a giRLs naME. uKnow MArTha? Some SayIng MarTHA IS a SpEciAL NAme. is SomEOne WhO DIe FOr THEIr RElIgiOn wORrrR!!! so TOoPid. tHATs WHy not I wANting TO sAY, BUt SeeeING alL the TOoPid TeRrroRisTS BoMB thEmSeLVeS uP (SomeTImes Put THE BOmb NEar the bANaNA soMEMore), Not PAiNpAAiN MeEh??

NyP Hor, vEry DirTY PLAcE lEH. TIs ish not fiRSt TiME i heArIGN. PoepLE sAY LAst tIme THE TEaCheR teHERE alSO VERy cHEE kOR pek, haVe sEX wiTH StuDents OR smTH LIke THt. The GIrl alSO vEry TOoPid OnE... ShE mUST HAVe FaiLIng HEr exAms. TeAcher SO Old StiLl WanTs.. ReALlY dESpO.. Pui pUi Pui!!! sO sCAry, sOmemoRE i Got POSsTEd TheRE aFTer JAe LeH... AIyOoO sEE laH, I nEbER PoST fOR ShOhOooOo lONG, EvEN O LeveLS alSO nEbeR Say abOut HEre In mY BlOGzZ. WiLL tElLS u oNE dAY OK?!?!

Ok aNw i G2g leR, I wANtIng TO tALk ABout My neW MOVIe TO u AlL lAter OkieS? cyARdDDd! MuAcKS

sTaNdArD chArTeRed maRaThoRN

i Am ShoOoOoO AngRY!!!!

bUt fiRST HOr, i mUST EXPLAiNNing whY I shOOo lONG nEBeR bLOGgINg LeR. cOs Hor, JAsOn hE TOoPID baSTaRd, cUStaRD, mUstArd, duMp me. sHOoO i VeRy VeRY sAd, so EveRYday CryIng TIlL mY eYEs bEcoMing rEd ReD lIke KenNa SUnbUrNs. NeBERmInd lER, oVer LeR.

YeSTerDay i wANT go mEEt ChUcHU iN tOa PayOh sO I toOk 31 FroM My hoUSe. Then WahHhHh?!?! NEaR gaYLAnG sERaI theRe, tHE bus SuddenlY turn whEN ActuaLlY nORmAL It DuNch turnNing. TheN I See ShOoO ManY fAiLED BUs DrivErs aRoUnd tHE roaD sidE. u Noe FaILED bUS dRIvErS IsH WHat yoU CaLl bUS iNspECTOrs Lor. CanNnoT REMmMber bUs Must GO whERE, so mUST wEar THE tooPid PoNG pONG uNifoRM anD check tiCKETS anD noW eZ-lInk cARD lOR. wAHhH NoW hOR, They mUST Like WORKiNG supER haRD. caUsE GahMen sAy thEY wAnt TO cATcH ALl THOse Who NEber Pay mOney PROpErlY AnD Make cHEatER pEOpLe BecoMiNG fIne PeoEPle BY FiNiNG them.

ToOpID BuS iNsPEcTOR. wHEN I SHOw HiM my buS tiCKet I pAYiNG 45 cEnts, He SayIng:
"EH Ah GirL aH, r u SuRE U sTIlL chuUiReN?"

I VEry oLD mEH?!?!? Say tiLl i lIKE auNtiE lIke THAT Norz. iM KaWAIi neHhz SaKurA Mei mEi oK. sTIlL Want to SaY I Old?! ToOpid PoO PoO. I sHOW u mY PIcTURe:



SeEee!! Im noT oLd oKIE.

SO ThEN HOr, nOT oNRy the Bus WeNT dIFfEREnt Way, it Also vErYRYrryryryyrry SLow Wor!!!! CoZ I See So mANy Old UnclE (tHIS oNE Is REaLlY Old, NOT lIEK me KaWAIi neHS) ruNnIng. i sEE sEe, All thE oLD SmeLLY LAo aH pEK ruNning, No SeeING hANDsoME BAYwATch mAn. SO sAd BoOoOhOOoOoO.

I duNch nOE whY All Must ruN ToGEtHer, dUCNh they TiNk ITs bEry smELly? iN fROnt SMelLy sWEatY, BeHInd ALso SMelLy SweATY. eveYryWherE alSO so SMelLY PoO pOo One De nehS. I REalLi duNCH UndERSTaND thEm. uNtiL thIS mOrNIng I sEEiNG NeWs. WAHhHhHhH tHEY aLL RUnNIng COZ goT $25,000 TO WIn leH!!! so coOoL. NeWs SaYiNG, 7 pEOple FroM THIs COuNTRY caLLEd 'Can aH' ALl TOp 7 wORs. SIngPore DUnnO DIe UntiL whERE leR. tHEY r ALl VeRY skInNy And TaN. buT duNnO whY mY fWENS alL sAyIng they SHoOoO uGlY. tot THEY LiKing TAN PEOpLe?

WRaPpinG

ToDay i LeArN a nEw KiND of MuSIC. iT Is wHat wE cALl wRaPpIng. mY fWeN saID thAT It IS vERY CoOl anD I cUnt AlWaYS LiStEn to jaY cHOu. SOmeTImes MusT LisTeN TO eNGrISH sONGs. so oKAy LoR, I lIStEn lOR.

wRaPpING mUSic iS QuITe KaWaiI NehS. fIRSTLy Hor, U SeE tHE pICtuRe On ToP. tHat mAN IS cALled wiLl SmIth. i alSO duNCH noE whY He is CalLed WIlL smIth, noT wiLl SeW, WIlL SMeLt LAh. wEird oNe LaH tHEsE pEoePle. OhHh yaRs, wRaPpING pEOpLE hoR, thEY aRE moStlY BlACK. sOme SAyING bLAck pEoPle Very gOoD aT wRaPpIng CAUsE thEY tALk vERY fAst, so Can wRap wELl. BuT i duNCh uNDerSTaND whY blAck pEoPle WraPPiNG wElL, MayBe CausE tHeIr ToNGue LikE motoRbOAt. BuT iF LidDat, THeN HOw CUm m&M cAN WrAP sO WelL lEh?

YOu kNOW M&M iS wHO? cuM cuM i Show You hIs piC wOR:


MayBE caUSe whEn he YouNG AlwAYs EatiNG m&M CHoCOlAteS, THen bECOme BlAck on The iNsIDe, WHIte ON THE oUTsIDe THIngiE. so COoL lEr. tHis IS WHaT WE cALlING BlAaCK At HeART kEKke.

MY FavOURite SOng Is mOCkINGbiRD. ShOOoO NIce WOr the PiAno. I lUb lUb IT sO MuCH I Must leArN HOw TO siNGiNG it. tHIs Is HOw I'M GOiNG to LeArn:

StEp 1:
EaT LoTS lOts oF

HeHe!!!!


StEp 2:
TheN BRUsh yoUr TeeTh uSing OrAl-B ToOtHbRUSh:

OPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSS~~~!!! WrOng PicTurE hehhe ><"

SHoUld Be:


Eat M&m lER MUst bRUsh tEeTh if NOT lAtEr tOoth paiN pAIn Die leR... ehHEH...


StEp 3:
ThEn We LoOkING foR THe soNG lyrICs:
http://www.letssingit.com/?/eminem-mockingbird-4p78x3t.html

TADAAAAAAA!!!!!!

mY mALAy FriENd

ehHhHhHh!!! tooPid PEOpLEs, U All THInk i OnLy GoT RosElIne, MiMi aND chUcHu aS mY FrIEnd AH. I teLl EuU HOr, I aLSO Got MAlay fRIEndz dE wOR. And One OF My BesTEsTesTeSt maLAy fRIEND iS cALlIng MACheEk. DUnch Ask Me WHy hIs naME is Like THat, CauSE gaHmEn SayIng We mUST aLL LivE iN peACe ANd HaRMOneY, EVerYBODY Must BE a RAcisT. MEaNIng EVERYoNE mUST Lub LUB eVERYoNE, eVeN dOH We ALl noT the Same COlOR WOr. IM A rAcISt LEh , CaUSE Hor, bLAck COlOR, oRleNG, PuRple, pInk, bRown alL mY GoOOD gOOd FWen WOr. sEE, LikE mAchEEk IS chOColaTE coLOr LOr, aNd he IS My GOOd GoOd FrienD toO!!!

bUT i Dunch liKE hiM ONE thiNG is HOr, he aLWAys NeVER kaWAii nEhS dE lEH. hE tALkING alWAYs End WITH 'Sia lAh BlAdDer' iNStEAd Of THE WorS OR NOrs Or NEhs THat mE, CHuchU anD roSelIne ANd MImI USe. SO TOoPid Leh DUnch u thiNK sO. SO U THInkING noW, mAcHEeK ReALly TALkING alWAYS EndiNG wiTh tHe 'sIA LaH' aH? I teLlING EUu REalLy one LEHs. LiKe hoR, thAT thAT My eNGLish TeACHer AskIng HIm iF hE kNOWS whAT IS cAPital punisHmEnt. thEN HE duNCH KNow mAH, SO His BRAIn LikE BlANk BlAnk, duNCH kNOW WAT to sayIng. SO NorMALlY MOst PEoPle Like mE toO HOR, We duNCH kNOW we Just keEP QuIEt ANd SmIle. THen THIS mAchEek sO toOpID, CAusE lIke I sAYiNG he ALways End wiTH 'SiA LAh BrudDer', ThEN HE no oNlY kEEp QUieT ANd SMiLE, he ALSO saY 'sIA lAh bLaDder' to mRS CHeOng. WAAAaaH thEn miMi shoUTing Out, shE SayIng:

"Oh mY GaWD!!! You neEd pAMpErS oR nOrT?!"

THen I hEaRD leR, wROng LEH!!! SO i shOUtiNG baCK lOrS:

"eHhHh!!! it iS cALlIng DiePeRS lAH!!! Not PAmPErs!"

WAaaaaaaaaaaaHhAHhahAHh!!!!! Mrs CHeONG heArD LEr, SHe SO HapPy WOr! She sAID iM sHoOoOoOOoOoOo ClevER wOR. BUt My hAPpY-NesS vERY faST flY aWay Ler, She NebeR gIVE me CHOcoCLaTE or ChoP A stAr On My haND oNE. SO Kiam SIap, sTIngY POk poK.

THen hor, This MaCHeeK is beRY BEry FUnNy onE. HE aLWAYs SAY HOr: AIyAH... reLac One CORneR lAH BrUDDer. LAst tIme I vERY BlUr ONE, i hearD HIm sAyiNG RElac One cOrneR theN I DUnch Know WHIch oNE to Go to. THen whENveer hE sAY...

"EHhHh jIAhUi! rELaC oNE CorneR lAH BRudDER!"

then i wIlL saYiNG:

"wHICH COrnER haR?"

tHen toOpID mAchEeK WIlL LaUghIng ANd sAy, AIyaHHH!! go TO tHe reaDer'S CoRNEr LAh. bUdDen i TeLLiNG hiM i no lIKe TO reAD, OnlY Like TO SHoPpING and DriNK BuBbLE tEA and LisTEnInG gAy chOU mUSic And Be WIth JaSOn 4eVeR anD eva Wor... i shOoOoO aNgry!!! duNCH lIke PEoPle WHo AskiNG Me TO do thiNGs I duNCH lIke. I duNCH lIKE TO rEaD bOoKS! so i WIlL noT go TO thAT cORNER! hMmPH!

SO I aNGry aNGRY And I thiNK THInk thiNK. sINCe maCHeek lIke TO rELac One cORNER sHOoO Much i let HIm Lor. tOmOrRrOW hOR, i wIlL TriCk maCheEk to go iNTO the MuSIC roOm. CUz u NOe MusIC roOm is cirCLe iN SHaPE De KekeKE. sO No coRNers MAH. SeE WHere He cAn rElac NOW KEKekeK. MayBE hE fiNDiNg THe COrner tiLl HE GOng GOng HiS HEaD tiLl he LOOk lIKE a BIg BIG baR lU kU KEKkeE! tHEN hE soTOng SotoNG anD wiLl aSK mE to gO tO jAsoN'S hoUSE the COrneR to RElaC!!! YaY!!!!!!

N HOr, I teLlING yoU oNE laST thING, mAchEEK aLSO bERY BErY fuNny... hE lIke TO tiE his ShOELaCe In A vERY COoL WaY. First hor HE wiLl pUT his RighT LEG Onto ThE railING, tHEN HE wiLl nOrT tie THe righT leG shOE kekKE. HE wiLl tie THE Left lEG SHoe KkekEKE, sO COoL woR!!! he sAyIng HelPiNG hiM to prAcTICe SIt n ReACH KEKkeK!!!
lIKE this!

wE ArE gOiNg TO tHE zOo zOo ZoO, HOw BouT CHu, chU CHu? yOu Can cUm tOo toO We'RE GoInG to thE zOo ZoO zoO WOr.

cHuChU VErY ToOpID lEH. TodAY RoSeLiNE, MiMi anD i WeRE iN oRChaRD rOAd WalKiNG iN HEeReN thEN She CalLEd mE.

"HeLlo jIaHUi Ah? wAnT TO gO ZoO Or nOT Ah? i hoR aCCiDeNtAlLy ToOk wRoNg Bus TO sCHoOl WoR, ThEN I eNDed UP In tHE zOo" ShE sAid.

THeN i ThiNK ThiNK tHInk, whO In THe SiNGaPore SO tOoPid One? CaN TaKE RoNg buS tilL zOo. bUT beCAusE wE vERY GoOd JiEmEi Or sIStER iN EngLaND sO wE thiNK ThiNK Ok Lor, wE go AccUmpAny hER. sO We go lOr. thEN wE rEaCH THEre LoR.

thEN We SaW cHuChU OutSidE thE GAteS of THE zoO. AIYo tOoPid WeAThER sooOoOoOoOoO hOT oNE woRX, OnLy REmINd ME of the TOopId SeNtoSA OnLy. tAOyan si LEr. AIyooO I tElL YOu, THis BlOg hoR, Im cHINesE mAH, SO I WiLl UsE alOt oF chiNEsE oNE. If You nOT chINEsE hoR, THEn EuU See All THe fUnnY PoK PoK WorDs yoU no NEed thiNK thINK THinK aND go TO dicktionary.com And CHecKiNG oNE. tHAT MEaNs Its a ChiNESe WOrDS aND I cANnoT alWAYs EXPlaIN One. sO tiRiNG OnE lEH, LaTER mY fINgeRs LOOk lIke JaSON dEaRIe'S ValUe PAck hoW? EeEeEEeEeeE...!!!!

tHEn wE boUGHt TIckETS anD wENT IN TO sEe. I tELl yOU AH, I ReALlY vEry VerY sMArt One WOrZ. EvEryone, chU CHU MImi And ROsELiNE aLl thiNKiNG fIRST THing THEY sEE is aNImALs AftER thEy go Into thE zoO. thEN i Say nO LAH WOnT One NehS. THey DUnch BeLiEve Me, theN reAlLy lEH, GO In FIrst tHIng wE sEE iS noT ANImaLS. yOU guESS wHat? aiYoO aSK EuU alSO no UsE De LaRHHHH... euU ALso Not As SmaRt aS me WOr. anD kaWAIii neHh As me kKEkekE. fIRST thING EUu sEe Is aNG MOS lAH kKEKekekEKekEKEK. SeE i sO SmaRT HOr? kKEKEKk. tHEN chUchU And ROsELiNE anD mImI sO aNgRY LeR... TIlL thEIr FaCes As REd As THosE aNg Mos. so i MAke THEM hAPpY ANd I sAYIng:

"kKEKekKE, ANG moS ALSO LoOK LikE aNImalS mah, tHeiR faCe so rEd lIKE.... lIke mY LiPStiCK!!!"

HhHahHAhahahAHAHHhaHAHhaHA!!! So FUnNy leh I THInk!!! hAHAHhAHAhahHAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAhHAhahHAhaHAh!!!! aHAHhahAHhaHAh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KekkEK.

THEn i tEll yOu HoR, CHuCHu She NEbER go SkOoL MAH, SO She CUm iN SkOoL UnifORM. AIyOoOoo.. hEr skIrT so sHORT wOR. thEN I Ask heR iF shE sCaReD HeR THat onE this One THoSe Ones Let PEOpLE sEe, tHeN shE kEKEKEk ANd TElLing ME THAT sHE wEar sHORts InsidE. THEN sHE eveN LifT Up heR SKiRT beHiND anD LeT me sEEe. wHeN i sAw IT hoR, I THInK thiNK thInk. aND i Told chUcHu: WaaAaaAaaH?!?!? wHEre yoU bUy tHis PanTS oNE? so sHORT wOR!!!

caUsE it LoOkS lIke THAt mAH:


tHEn She vEry BluR bLuR soTOng LoOK On HeR FaCe. AnD SHe lOoK At HEr OWN PAntS And SHe ScREaM woR!!! She sAid dIE lEr Die LEr, THaT is NOT mY PAntS, thAT IS mY NEW PolKa DOt PaNTY!!! I ForGOt TO wEaR shORts Wor!!!

OmG!!!! PoLkA DoT PaNTy mUsT be VeRy COmfoRTABle Wor, SO SMalL aND tiGHT But THEnN StiLl FeeL Like ShorTS!!! so gooOD One!!! I Also WaNT!

So We WaLK WalK wALk, anD we SeE the babOooN.


wAhHhH!!!! tHEY vERY cUTE lEh!!! sO KAwaiI, EvEN MORE kAwaIi thAN mE!!!! dUNch lIKE THEM. I vERY AngRy wiTH, CaUSe I thiNKIng, hoW cAN a toOpID aNImal be mOre KaWAIi neHS thAN ME?!?!?! SO I dUnch FriEND thE toOpID bABbOoN ANyMORE. BUt I telL YOu HOR, the BAbbOoN BUttOck IS vErrrrRrRry ReD oNe WOr. SoO BriGHT lEH. Like mY lIpsTICK, anD alSO lIke the aNg mo FaCe KekKEEk. sO I dEcIDeD THat okaY! sINCe TheiR buTt UgLIeR THan miNE, i FriENd THEM bAck! KkeKEKeKEke.

wE sEe FIniSH BabOoN, THen We GO sEE aH MeNG!!! wEEE i LuBx lUbx aH MEng wOR! sO fuNnY oNE.

Ah meNG IS the OnE oN THe RIght, thE oNE oN thE LeFT IS Ah meNG's mIStREsS. KekEK. theN CHuChU SayIng TO Me: "aIyOoOOo, aH MeNG is A guRL wOR. u thiNK ah mEng MaN ah?" bUT i THInk THInK thInk, no maH, ah mEng IS boI BOi naME noR. HOw Can BE A GirL. THen CHu chU sTIll Say shE goT biG neH NEH BREAstS oNE wOR. I SeE sEE, yAr HOr, ReaLLy GOt NEH NeH. Or MAYbe ah meNG go gyM eVErYDay And TRAIn lEH? THey AlwaYS sayIng iN thE newSPpaERS, tV and LaDiO thAT MonKEYs ANd PeoPle R the SAMe One MAH. SO wE GO gyM, ah menG ALso GO GYm loR! MaYbe aH meNG GYm SmaLL sMAlL OnE, OnLy got THE MaCHIne TO do BEnCH BReaSTs to mAke ChesT TIght TIght ONE wOR...

TheN I THInk THInkS MOre wOR. WaH ThiS aH MEng SO fuNnY LEh. euU KnoW i See PEOple GO gym TO RUn anD EXErCiSe THEY alL lIsTEN to MusIC. WOahHhHh!!! maYbe AH MEng LiSteN To TeCHno lIKE heAvEN BY dJ sAmMy Wor! Or MAYbe, AH MeNG NO LYfE oNe, eVEryDay LisTen To tHE banAnA sOng. WHo SiNG oNE ah? i aLSO duNno leH, maYbE ALl THe SOunD is LikE rEcoRD FroM Ah MeNG BItING bANanAs oNE. WoaH!!!!! i See Ah MeNG baNANa, goT alL kIND of SizES!!! GOt Big BanAnA, MEdiUm baNAna, aND smAll baNANa. JuST Like JAy CHou'S One mUST be Big BANanNA, beCuz he goT smALl aND kAwaiI NEhs EYeS. tHEN JaSOn oNE is SureLY SmaLl bANnaNA. Not BEcAusE hE GOt Big Eyes, but beCaUSE i TOuch BEfoRE KEKEkEKEKEKEKEKEkekEKeke.

Oh oH.... I sAy fROm Ah MeNG banANa TIlL JAsoN bAnAna. soRry WOr... bUT then hoR, i conTInue mY sTORY. VeRy NICe One MAH, DuncH euU thiNKS sO. SO chU cHU KeEp sAYiNG aH meNG Is GUrl, i KeeP sAYiNG ah meNG Is Boi boI. THen sUDDenLy oNE anG moH ToUrISt SayEd: "PUrrRLiSss... aH mEng IS A FreE mALE. NoT a bOI Or GUrl!"

I HeAr LeR i GOng GoNg. fiRSTlY, I thiNKiNG, hUH!?!??! I thoUGHT aNIMAls ALso LiKE peoPle, OnLY gOT boi BoI n guRL? StiLl GOt ANothEr sEX cAlLEd Free MalE? THen roSelIne sAiD thAT freEMaLe mEAns Gurl guRL laH... BuT UntiL NOW, i alSO duNch knOW whY THEY cALl guRL guRL fReEmaLE. guRL MEaNS gurl Mah, sTIlL goT fREE OR noT fREE oNE meh? UnLESs Is COme oUt From THOsE ProStiTUTe One LAH, THosE mUST PAy I nOE OkAy... iM NOT so sTUPid One HOR. oR MayBe CauSe thESe TOopid Ang MO lIKe TO usE CHeeM cHEEM wORDs THAt wE dUNcH UNDersTAaNDinG. MusT bE Nor.

tHEN i heAriNG the puRLISssS. oMg diE leR, hOW cOME he SaY PoLicE?!?! GOt PoLicE wANna cATch chUcHU cUZ sHE nEbeR go SKoOol!?!?! DIeee leR!!! thEN I vERY sCaREd, I SweAt And VERY coLD. BUt CHuCHu SaID aIYoOoO.... he MEaNIng PLEAse.. NOt PoLICe. BUt i HEaR, he Said 'PURrRrLisSs... Ah meNG is A fREE mAle. noT a BOi or A guRL!'

SeE LAh! i toLD yOU toOpID aNG mo liKE to USe CHeEm cHEem wORdS THAT wE duNCH unDERSTANDiNG oNE. TOopID!!!!!!!!!

GeYLAnG

I wAs vEry hUNgRY LaST NIghT, bUT THeN NOthINg aT HOme To Eat EuU KnOW. mY MOthEr NevEr cOOk, she SayIng I AlwAYs GO PAR tOR aNd eAT OutSide sO NO cOoK LorS. eUu knOW whaT PaR tor iS? PaR TOR is NOT a nAme OF a cLUb LiKE zOuK Or cHEeKy moNkeYz Or whAT LAr. AcTuALLy i Is ALsO NOt Sure. so i aSKed CHuChU, theN ChU chU aSKeD me GO Check www.dicktionary.com SO I GO LoR.

FirST I cHEcKinG tHE wORd PaR. i pReSs enTEr, THen cOMe Out ReSulTS.

para-1 or par-
pref.

1. Beside; near; alongside: parathyroid.

tHEn I cHEckiNG THe WorD TOr TheN ResuLTs ALso coMe oUT nEhs.

tor (tôr) n.

1. A high rock or pile of rocks on the top of a hill.

OoOoOrRrRrrr... PaR TOr MEanS BeSidE a HiGh roCk Wor. I thiNK I vERY sMArt LEhs, kNOW hoW to USe thE dicKtIOnAry tO CheCkIng THe WOrD. SO I vEry hApPy aND eXcITED, I cAlling jaSOn And TeLL HIm mY sMArTNeSS.

RiNG riNG...

"hEllo JaSOn babY mUacK MAucK BaoBeI Lao gOng, i AcTUuAlLy DUnch kNOW PAr TOr MEanINg oNE leH, THen i WenT TO chECk www.dicktionary.com TheN i foUnd OUt PaR TOR MEanINg BEsIDe a High ROCk. bUT so toOpID lEH, Why mY mOTHer Say i StaND BEsidE a hiGh ROCK aLL Day leHs? i mOSt OF the TIme StaND BesIDE My MIrroR and CHeCk My KaWAiI NEhS mAH. IF nOT is i StanDiNG beSidE yoU WHeN yOU dRAw MOney FroM aTM OnLy mAhs. so TOopID hOR mY MOTHeR. SO I THInKing MOrE. oRrRrRr, mAYbE shE sAw YOu aND me TOgEThEr aT fAr EaST pLaZa aND SHe See SeEe HmMmM ThaT BOi Boi lOoKIng LIkE A Rock. buT yoU BErry beRRY hArd nEHs? I thiNK YOu ValUE pAck leR, No 6 PAck how TO HArd hArD? uNleS You TElLing mE My mUmMy toUCH yOU BEfoRE??? sOB soBss..."

tHEN JASOn lAuGhiNG noN sTOp Wor, Like HE DInG doNG donG diNG leR. he SaID to ME:

"YoU SIllY Poo PoO GOnG GOng TOOt TOOt. yOur MotHEr MEanING pAr TOR meAnS GO Out TOgeTHEr WIth boI bOI ANd WaTCh MOvIe lOR. And duNch Say i VeRY SofT WOr, My vALue PACK NOw UpGRAdING LEr Wor. sOoN beCome 8 pACKs KekKEK. EVeN ICE paCKs KEKek."

tHEN I sTIlL vEry bLur WOr, I TOld HiM:

"bUT wE alWaYs GO MOViE meH? euU AlwAYS sAY AiYoOoO nOW MOvIE so ExPENsIVE woR, No mONey dE. We DUNCh MaH... MOsT oF the TIME oNlY Go FaR eAst SeE sEe KaWaIi neHS CLothEs MAh..."

tHEn He LAUgh TIlL Like MOnSteR woR, liKE pOKEmOn THat biG fAT TOot Guy TIlL HE sAYiNG he Must GO POo PoO In thE toIlEt CalL ME bACK. so i WaiTIng LOr. ThEN HE sAyiNG He VeRY HuNGry, wANnNA GO aND eAT tiM Sum neAR gEylaNG. aT fiRst I DunCh lIKE, cauSe I reAdIng neWSpPaER THEY sAy eAtIng AfTEr 8 or clock IS bAd WOr. Fat Fat tooT. NvM, I dRInk LoR KEKek. So sMArt hor mE.

SO We GO thEre Lor, anD wE fiND a PlaCe NeAR thE 24-hR TIm suM shOP.



I duCNh QUitE lIKE the PlaCe, aLOt OF aNG mo. aNG mO meANinG thosE peOppLe FroM euRoPE aND aMerIcA oNe. SOme peoPlE THInk THEY very High CrasSS, cALl aNG mo aS cOCoSiaN. so WeiRD lEr. THey cOCO, We A. We A CauSE wE aSiAN MAh. TOoPid yOU LAh. Then THe PLAcE WaS vErY VEry neAr NighTclUBs ANd ALl THE CHIna woMaNS oUTsIDE wOr.



TheN We SiT Down oN A tABle BEsiDE 2 aNG MOs. tHEY so tOoPid, DUnch Know hOw TO usE cHOpStickS so Must uSing forK. THen i THInKiNG theY MUst be vEry GooD At PoKing KEKek. bUT iM BeTtER, i gOOd At PoKiNG anD pInchING kekekE. SO THe We LoOoK LoOk THe MeNu, And We CaLl THe wAiTeR CoMe. laI laI!

thE wAiTER asK ME wHAT wE wANt TO eAt. I duNCH kNOW so i aSK JAsoN to chOosE. i SeE pEOpLE eAT IS so hUNgry. THen jaSOn Said:

"SIew MaI?"

AnD I SaiD: "I lIKE WorS."

HE sAid: "cHaR siEW pAu?"

And i SaID: "I LIkE wOOOOORs."

tHEN he sAid: "HAr KAu?"

aND i SaId: "i likE wOoOOoOoOrS!"

TheN i NOticED wheeN i TALkIng, THe Ang MO BEside us, his EYEs bIGGeR AND biGGer leH. he Like SO shOCKed, Like SEe ME nAked. I cHECKiNG to SEe IF i goT zAO GEng, but NO LeH, jAsoN aLSO Say duNCH Know WHy. thEN SOOn THe Ang MO WHO LooK LIke A cHEE kOR peK TooPid PeRvERT caMe.

HE sAid TO me:

"hoLy cOW? You lIKe wORS?"

i thiNIKing HE musT be LoOk DoWN On Ah LianS oNe, thEN I sAID:

"I lIKE Wors CANNoT aH?" ANd i gIVe Him A Very haRD LooK. HArd liKE a TOr. u Know toR? THe Par TOr THat toR lOR.

tHEN HE sAyIng:

"Oh mY... You muSt be LESbIan, yOU Like whORes? aS iN W-H-O-R-E-S?"

SO I BlUR lIAO. thIS toOpID anGmo THink hIS EnglAnd VERY cHEEM wANnNA ScarE ME. and CalL ME lesBIAn soMEMOre, I SO KaWaIi NeH, hOw Can Be LESBian? sO I acT lIke I kNOW the WOrd WhORES.

aND i SaYiNG to THe TOoPid AngMo:
"yEaH YeAH I lIKE whoReS, cANnOT is It. iN fAct i USe THEM aLL dAY. Like THIS!! AnD i pOintEd TO mY MOuth."

aND thEY sTaRiNG aT me And GIvIng me a wEIrd LoOK. tHEY WHisPEr sAYiNG THat i bLow aLOt, BlOW wOrs. toOpiD One laH, Wor IS A WOrd, duNCH cOME ouT fROm MOuth COme Out fROmw Where? i So AngRY LEr THinK ABOut IT. NoW i Know WHy pEOPle THInk Ang MOR verY WeIRD. THEY thiNk THEY very sMArT, but theY R TOoPid. kaWaiI NEhs GIrl AlsO cAN BEcoME A LESbiaN. aRgh!!!!! dUnch WanNa GO BAck gEyLAng eAT, Eat leR get ScOldiNG, sTIlL becoME fAT PoK pOk!

SenToSa

YeStErday mImI, rOSeLiNE And Our Old PriMAry ScHoOl fRienD chUChU dEcIDeD TO gOEs To SentoSa. TO Do whAT aHH? SUn-Tan anD SeE KAwAII GuYs lORx. KekEK, I wAs So eXcItED tHat i caNnOt SleEP The NiGHt BEfoRE tHE nighT beFOrE nOrs. L8r gOT eYEBaGS hoW??? dIE lEr WOr, eYEbaGS vEry uGLy oNE lEH. kEKEk I lEarnT the WORD EyEbAG THe Day beFOre the Day befORe thAt dAY Lor. duNCH KnoW hoW to ExpLaiN EyeBag laH, But IT is nOt SOmeTHIng YOu keEp yOUR coNTACT lENsES with laH. kKEk I so SmaRT hoR?

SO We weNT to haBOurFroNT ANd tHEN WenT TO thIS beACH. dUnnO How TO sPElLing THe BeACH NAMe lAH, SOmeTHING liKE pAdAwan bEach. I HOr, sAw The NAme hoR, tHEN HOr, KepT thiNKing Hor, HOw COme thIS namE liKE so FamILIar? lIke I heArD it SoMEwhEre In soMe MovIES. tHEN I thINK thiNK tHInk THiNK, XXXXXXXXXORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRXXXXXXXX!!! It'S NAMed AftER thE MoviE stAR wARs! yOU Know THe gUYs In DreSses oR SkIRts Or WHatEVeR laH AlwayS saY SOmeTHing ABOut tHE forCE aND "WeAK In THE fORCe You Are, yOUng PadAwan..." And ThEY ALwAYS CaRRy The Long TUbe!!! lONG, HarD, hOT anD glOWy wORX~

wAH. I thiNK anD thiNK then i ReAlISed That thE HAiry DireCToR OF staR WarS AcTUuAlLy Got VERY GoOD reSULTs FOr PhySICS LaST TiME. mUST BE taKe pURe PhysICs One, Not LIkE mE TaKe COmbiNED pHySICs kekE. ANd STIl FaiL =( kEKe NvM. I'm sMArter AT ThiS kINdA tHIng LAh, Like ThInKing wHy ThEY aLWAYs foRCE tHIS and That In THE movIE lOR.

AnYwAY wE wENt THere Lor. TheN I WorE a BiKiNi kekKE. BeAcheS SO MUCh BetTer, not liKe StupID Toa pAyOh sWiMMing COmPleX. THat Day laST TiME I WenT In bIkInI, ToOpid LIFe gUArd Say i CanNOt WeAR 2 pIEcES, ThEn i sTAnd InsIDe thE toIlet so lONG ANd ThInk ABout WHich piECe To TAKe Out. hE sAY CnanOT 2 PieCE, so 1 pIecE lOR. thEN
CHuCHu SaID: "AiYo tOoPid GoNG tOOt tOot JiaHuI, hE meAns CanNOt WeAr BiKiNi, NOT aSKiNG yOU to taKE oFf One laHx." tooPid lIFe GuaRD, NO wONDer I thiNK HE so CheE kOr Pek. SeR lAng Leh he. btw SeR laNG meAns COlORful Wolf Or pErvert iN cHINEseeeE.

AND HOr, I BoUGht A boTTLE oF Sun TAN LotiOn!!!



BanAnA Boat spF 15 pROtEcTIVe TanNinG oIl KEke. goT aLOT to ChOoSe FroM ,bUT i pickEd The One WIth THe HighEst Spf nUmBer. cAUsE i thiNK thiNK, SpF MeANs Super powERFUl FoRMuLA RIght? THen chUcHu SaID i so Gong. She SaID it MEanS suPEr PRoTEcTIoN FuNNEsS. Then mImI sAid iTS SuN PROTECtiOn fAcTOR lAH... AiYOoOoo so coNFusING!!! i DUNNno laH. HighEr THE betTEr MAh.

bUT tHEN I THiNK thINk, DaRK = SexiEr For guYS mEh? i DUnch tHinKS so leHZ. EuU lEH? Like THIs GUy:



So dArk, Like roAsTED chiCken. hAir SO Long SOmemORE. i DUnch liKE. i sTIlL lOVe My JAsoN moSt KEKeke. lUb lUb yoU wOR JAsOn. FOreVer KEKke. HE lovEs ME toO oK, DUnch tHInk i AlwAYs Say i LuB hiM mEaNS hE NeVEr LUbS mE. HE alSO lUbS me One Wor. KekKEke.

SO wE lIe Down By teh bEAch aND TAN Lor. SO hOt DE lEH.... I aLSO duNCH Know wHY sO maNy peOpLE liKE to suNtAN. eVEN Put Say HobBiES say tHEY LuB tANnING! LaST TiME i DUNCH KNOW whAT tANniNG is, i THOught is MEanS THEY LuB tO SpeAK to peoPle WIth THE suRNaMe STARting TAn. Then i THInkT THInK thInk, CANnOT be MAh, TaN PeoPle VEry rArE MEh? TheN soME eVen funnIEr Leh, they hor SAY THey lIke TAn guYS. AIYoOo peoplE wiTH sUrNAMe Tan ReAlLy IS verY pOPUlAR LEhh. so jeAlOUS... noWaDayS PeOPle Also SAY LiKE tAN GIRLS. SighHh... I'M a LiM, Not A taN. I sOooooOoOo sAd Wor. UntiL chuchU TEllS me AIyOOo... tAN MEaNs DaRK LAh. Orr oOR Like THat lOR. jUST neED to Go to PAdawan beACH MORE ofteN.

THen yeSTErDaY sO wEIrd, I DUnch kNOW HOw tHE fEElIng OF taNnING lIKE cAUsE fIRST Time. THEN I wEar My gucCi suNGlaSses CLOSe My eyeS and rElAx. AIYoOo.. FaKE oNE laH, bUY fROm bangKoK dE kEKke. bUT Of coURsE i tELl RosElIne, mImI anD chUchu Is Real oNE. I alSO duNCH wANnnA LEnd THEM, cAUsE thE sIDE theRE sayinG: mAde In cHEqUE rEPublic KekKEK. SO cooL, Must be THAT cOUntrY All usE cheqUE to Pay One. SO rich woR, bUT wAstE PapER so BaD. so Now i TEll yOU hOW the FEElIng TAnnING lIKE. it IS Like thE suN bITing Ur skIn Wor. Like ANts NOr. SO I thINkING hoW coME THe sUPeR pOwErFuL ForMuLA 15 no WOrkING. Then I wAit Wait, Until wOAhhHH... i FeLT soMEthing COolLiNG. Then I thoUGHT Is the Spf WOrkIng so i ReLaXiNG. then SudDeNLy...

roSelIne SHOutED: "quIck RAIniNG lEr!!! qUIcK go"

aND i OpenED mY EYeS. eEeEeE reAlLy rAIniNG. THeN I GO BAck TO shLETer ANd chECked My SKiN CoLor, StiLl THE sAME lEH. TOopID Spf Lah, nEVer WORK dE. neXt TIME duNCH wanNnA buY lEr. MaKE Me SO AnGRY And NO SHuAI ANd HAndSoME boI BOi soMEMore. SO sICkeniNG wOR. dUnch go baCK PaDawAn bEach ALready hMMPHGh!